Our Journey, may have been a lot like yours, a strong desire and yearn to have a little one to call yours…
Something that is supposed to happen naturally, often easily for others, suddenly becomes years of disappointment, sorrow, feelings of inadequacy and failure. Not knowing what to do next, where to go or wanting to endure more pain, emotionally and financially.
Learning of AIS and hearing of their successes of matching families at birth, in the US, was something unthinkable, unobtainable. But we were wrong!
We met AIS in July of 2012, and suddenly we had hope! We knew we wanted a child at birth and AIS could make this dream come true. Immediately we felt we had an advocate that understood this long-standing dream and they would help us navigate the very complex adoption journey, every, step of the way.
From the first visit their compassion, personal experiences, knowledge, longstanding relationship and reputation of matching families was like a dream. They consulted with us to ensure they understood our desires for our future family. From there, they went to work, and so did we. We had a plan, and accountability. AIS provided a total turnkey process, from the enormous amounts of paperwork to building your picture profile story booklet. They offer consultation, honest feedback and continued support. Immediately, we started receiving options that we could submit for, coming from multiple agencies, throughout the US. It was unbelievable and overwhelming. AIS allowed us to talk through the options, which was so comforting and encouraging.
Over the next couple months, we submitted our profile to several birth families. Our submissions were not selected and we began to feel defeated. Then, we get the call in September. WE WERE PICKED! We were so excited! But what did this mean? AIS stepped in and guided us on next steps.
We were introduced to the adoption agency and from there, we planned arrangements to meet them and the birth mother. Will she like us? What if we say something that will change her mind? Will she decide to parent him? How is she feeling? Is she ok? The emotions are real and all over the place. We made the trip, waited anxiously to meet for lunch, and waited, and waited… She did not show up… The earth stops for that moment. What does this mean? What happened? We were all in at this point. Is the little one we had become emotionally attached too already, not going to end up with us?
Little did we know that the birth mother felt the same way. Will they think I changed my mind? Will they still want to meet me, another time? She had a very bad night the night before and was not in the right state of mind and did not want to meet us on that particular day. So, while we were concerned, we were more concerned for her and that she and the baby were ok.
We leaned on AIS and the adoption agency and they continued to give us hope. We eventually met, and it was amazing. Of course, we all were nervous. But the agency consultant was with us and helped ease the conversation and we learned about her, but she was more interested in learning about us, and asked a lot of questions. AIS prepares you for these visits in advance and the time together couldn’t have gone more perfect.
In October, we found out he was a boy, who would be born in February. She came a week early, so we missed the birth by a few hours but rushed to be with her and meet our son. We shared his first three days with his birth family and helped his “tummy mommy” in the hospital. His birth mother was so amazing. She let us change his first diaper, we bathed him the first time with her. She didn’t want to take away any first from us. How selfless. It was a very special time, but certainly not without lots of emotion and anxiety. She chose US to parent her son. She wants him to know she loves him. His birth mother wants him to have the best life and opportunities provided to him that she knew she was unable to fulfill. She ultimately wanted to help a family who could not get pregnant and give the greatest gift possible. We are forever grateful. Our son knows of his “tummy mommy” and will always know his story of the ultimate love.
He is OUR purpose. God is GREAT! Never give up on your dream to be a family. Our son turns 7 in February, and our life is beyond blessed.
To become an AIS family, start your journey here.